Thursday, September 18, 2008

Rocky Baby

So, I'm almost all the way into living in New York--manicuring myself to astonish the comedy world, in a good way this time--and I like Greenpoint. As a neighborhood to live in. There's a little records and coffe shop (2 in 1) and there's a couple friends from Raleigh just down the way, and now there's this guy. He is Rocky. His owner is a leathery old man who has three gold chains, all three with different kinds of chunky little eagle pendants. He said, "That's Rocky. But call him Rocky Baby. He's the neighborhood mascot."
So I have composed the following poem for him:
Rocky Baby you live in Greenpoint and have for two years but I didn't know you then until I needed to get coffee and a cup of tomato soup and found you and said I know why I bought this one kind of phone with the camera now because I love you to pieces you are the cutest baby and I've SEEN boxers I have an old boxer Jasmine in NC and she's got long-suffering eyes and a white face because she's 14 and i did have two others and one time that skinny little one we stole/liberated from a dog fight guy in Charleston who went to live with zealots who called him Ezekial but its none of my business and then still another boxer at my grandma's neighbor's who belonged to Nelson's granddaughter and he lives in a tiny fence cage situation which is, I assure you, no good and but you, YOU, are the prettiest, handsomest guy of all and you remind me of Jasmine whom I didn't name since she was a rescue kinda too but who really is a Jasmine now that I know how delicate she is and I miss her believe me but you... You have a square face and didn't you know you are a bull dog and its in your nature to fight bulls I guess but I can't imagine you would though you never know a person all the way since everybody has their compulsions like what if you saw a bull right now on this street you might want to fight him or like get to know him and pretend to be best friends with him the way young girls do their boyfriend's other female friends maybe but you're not a tricky guy that way I can tell you are just a cute guy who likes girls or anybody probably but you seem to really like me which is working out since I am all crush now, like deep deep crush.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

David Foster Wallace

David Foster Wallace dead at 46.

If the smartest man alive hangs himself, what chance do the rest of us have?

I am heartbroken.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Letter to Frank Black #4

Dear Frank Black,

How are things with you? Don't tell me. I am interested mainly in what I imagine is up with you. Someone told me where you live and I was all, "I don't want to know! Don't tell me anything else!" He said Portland, not, like, your actual address or anything. But now I have to know you live in Portland. Just don't tell me anything else. It's messing everything up for my letters to you I think. What would be the word for when you've made someone a figment of your own imagined self. Figmentized?

I am leaving North Carolina for a month to live in New York and be a different kind of person you know like actaully start something else again. Like all the comedy I've been doing but I don't want to tell you about all that. Not that I think you'll show up at one of my shows (but just so you know, that can't happen okay?) but because I have so many plans and some of them are quite naive. But I can't think about how I'll remember the plans if I fast forward to writing you in 15 years because who knows how they'll shake out. But I think I know how I want them to. So they are plans.

What are you a Pisces? I bet you are. I'm Gemini. Ruler of the Earth. Not of dirt, but, of the planet Earth. Can you believe that? You are ruler of the ocean. So, technically, you're of my world but we're different. See? You rule something that is a part of me, right, the primordial part, but not the rest of it. So, there's probably a lot you couldn't know about me. And I can't understand how you swim all the time, or float, your feet not ever on anything. You can surely touch the ground, and live within the earth, but only as a part of your own insulation. And you are all muse, according to the books. I don't even know what that means.