It was when I predicted Steve Erwin's death that I decided that I'm clairvoyant. So I went to the bookstore to try to find information on how to harnass my abilities so I can figure out who's going to die or what I should do with my life, or, basically, just any ideas for ways to exploit my gift.
Sylvia Browne is the best they can do at Borders.
I think she started a religion called Novus Spiritus where there are tenets that have the word "thou" in a lot of them. She channels a voice called "Francine" whom she's been listening to since she was 7. She hears Francine's voice in only one ear, making her "clairaudient" or possibly psychotic, according to Sigorney Weaver--psychiatrist and top serial killer expert in the movie Copycat.
In one book I picked up, Sylvia says that the visions sometimes come to the clairvoyant in colors and that you CAN learn to channel and control them.
I don't have "visions" or "colors" or "voices" but, rather, just information that already exists. It's a part of my knowledge--just in general. I was visiting my grandma and saw Steve Erwin on TV and thought, "He will die." I said it out loud actually. My grandma said, "What?" I said, "He's going to die," and by Monday he was dead. It wasn't a vision, it was just information I sort of already knew.
My friend said sarcastically: "Wait! You predicted the Crocodile Hunter's death!? A guy who constantly fucks with crocodiles!?"
Yes, that is silly. And also there's a small chance your girlfriend is pregnant. But I didn't say that out loud.
What I know is random and the information is sometimes not really important so I forget that it might be true and I don't usually tell anybody about it so I occasionally catch myself saying, "Yeah, I already knew that was going to happen." Like an asshole.
And they say, "How did you know?" and I say, "I'm clairvoyant. I also predicted Steve Erwin's death."
Like an asshole.