Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Macon Puns

Advertising this time of year is all about beating the heat with something. A product, in most cases. It started with a billboard for a sale on air conditioners: "Beat the Heat with Cool Summer Deals!!!" Then I started seeing it everywhere.

Yesterday I saw it on a hotel billboard. Like somebody is going to be on Capital Boulevard and just before he sees the sign, he thinks to himself, "Man, it is hot as balls out here. I wish I could rent a hotel room for the day to beat this heat... but I don't think it's in my budget..."

The variations on this ad get ridiculous. I saw a billboard that said "Beat the Heat with Gas Relief!" It was for a digestion-aide product that eliminates gas... the gas that didn't exactly create the heat problem... but isn't NOT contributing.

This is sort of a hobby of mine. Collecting these ads. I sort of already thought about moving to Macon, GA because they have the best signs. There's a used car lot called "Macon Deals" and that's a place where you want to shop because you know the guy has a sense of humor.

I thought I could move to Macon and rent a little office space where I'd come up with business names and advertising slogans. I could calll the business "Macon Puns" and everybody would know the deal and they'd say, "Yeah, she's funny and all, but she's also serious. And good at what she does. And attractive."
This is my fake business that I imagined, so you're probably thinking that I'm just making up these compliments about myself, but I'm not. I'm just really good at what I do.

Here. Let me illustrate. Because I can imagine that people have the desire to succeed in business but sometimes are afraid of going all the way and getting a kick-ass slogan, I already know I'm going to have to take the wheel at the presentation of the slogan and say,
"Guys, I hear what you're saying. But I'm telling you now, if you want to compete in today's marketplace, you'll go with the pun." They'll be all "I'm not sure if we're ready for something like this."
I'll have to reason with them. "Listen, you guys are good at animal husbandry. No doubt. But I know puns. It's my business but it's also my passion. That's why I know you need 'Macon Bacon'."


jared said...

Hi. I think you may have neglected to mention the greatest "Macon" pun of them all.


Robin C. said...

Have you seen the billboard on Capital Boulevard that says "We Kick Bug" and it's a picture of a big shoe kicking a bug? I think they missed out on a great opportunity here. I would totally hire the exterminator who asks on their billboard, "Are You Buggin'?!" (almost as fast as I would hire the locksmith whose phone number is 828-HAIR). Instead they went with "We Kick Bug" which makes no sense.

Peter said...

So, this show @ the old Martin St. what time do you think the Rosebus will be playing? I have to go to a dinner party, and I want to be sure to dip out at the right time.

Looking forward to a hometown show!


Felipe said...

maybe this sounds stupid, but as i don't have any friend who plays in a band or record albums, i didn't know how was to sneak into a blog of a band. i loved the way you are so "normal". you admire bands, you like bands (so do i!), etc. the only difference between you and me, is that you have talent for what you do, is that you have talent.

i really like your records, bet they are not sold here in chile. and i couldn't even find them in canada past july.
anyways, keep doing the great job you always do.


Anonymous said...

I tend to refer to Macon as "God's Shithole" but that's just me. I went to school 35 miles northwest in a town called Milledgeville. I kind of miss the weather dude on 13WMAZ being completely drunk while trying to remain a professional meteorologist on TV. Haha, Ben Jones...